Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Giving Up....or In

When I started this blog, they only gave you ten pages for the extra stuff. So I made a list of what experiences I'd put there and then I only had one page left and I never really decided which thing to use. Now, I believe they give you TWENTY. I can't even think about filling 20 pages with this stuff that's really just about me. But I can spend some time here talking to myself because I think I just gave up today.

I'm so tired of being angry and disappointed and hurt. I'm tired of doing what I think the Church wants and not getting a bit of assistance with that. I keep putting off restarting my prayer practice because I don't have a Spiritual Director. I know all kinds of people online to keep referring to their "SD." They even have shorthand for it. Apparently I live in some alternate universe where there is no such thing. Or a Pastor who can imagine maybe you are NOT talking about him, fabulous him. I don't do mediumship because the Church doesn't want it. Meanwhile, the whole spiritual universe is gearing up and I know something's coming.

And I'm not ready.

Well, I did this on my own before, so, maybe it's time to just do it on my own again. And seek out the local psychic community. If I can find one. I'm beginning to wonder if any of these guys believe their own rhetoric. I wonder if I believe my own.

Maybe I should just buy a TV and get cable. Yeah.

That's the ticket.

Most high, glorious God, enlighten the darkness of my heart and give me Lord, a correct faith, a certain hope, a perfect charity, sense and knowledge, so that I may carry out Your holy and true command AMEN (Saint Francis' prayer at the Crucifix of San Damiano)

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