Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Then it got Really Weird: I see dead people

I'm a medium.... I just really don't know any other way to get into this, I tried all sorts of approaches, but I figure we'll just jump right in. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to. I didn't want to be weird and strange and feel more outcast than I already often did. I worked in science, for the luvva pete, and there's no possible way.....


...and it makes me so sad.... 

I'll have to find something to put in the Experiences pages to represent my mediumship discovery and all of that. I thought that's all this would be, but I kept putting off writing and putting off writing...  and I finally know why: what's the point of me?    

I'm so very serious and I know I sound like such a freakin' whiner but..  why?  God pretty much dragged me into the Church, called me to the prayer life that seemed to turn on all of this, sat me in a pew next to the first person I would ever have clear knowledgeable contact with after he passed, and now.. now I live in a place where the new Pastor of the Parish wrote a long treatise in the bulletin the 2nd week he was here on how  nothing a medium gets comes from God and I've been crying on and off ever since.

What's the point?  I used to do readings online.  I worked very hard to develop my ability to do this well and responsibly.  I was on a private forum Allison DuBois started after her show premiered and she was inundated with letters with other people who discovered some abilities in themselves.  The problem with being able to actually do this is the tremendous amount of spiritual jealousy.  You also get that in church if you have an extraordinary experience. 

I don't want to be in the "New Age."  Recently, a poster on a forum who found out what I could do asked me to be his personal psychic and offered to pay me.  I don't want money.  I gave him what I had.  But he was so sure he knew everything, he really didn't listen.  I can't do anything if people aren't listening.  See, this isn't about me.  It almost has nothing to do with me.  This process is more something that happens in my presence, it's something I observe and report on for another.  But I carry around the instrument that the music can come through and it's not only "against the law" to play it, but to even offer to play or to listen if someone else does. 

Oh well.  I'm going to go find a reading to post in the next few days if I can locate something where I don't feel I am exploiting anyone's privacy.   Then I'll go slap myself upside the head for feeling put-upon, what with the beautiful graces God has given me and me being such an ungrateful wretch and all.  

Bloggers get kinda weird late at night, I guess. 


  1. I'll be honest and say that I'm skeptical, because all my life I've known people who said they're psychic, but never said anything that convinced me. However, FWIW I'm a fairly new reader of your blog, enjoy it, and believe you are sincere. So I will bookmark your page, continue to read with interest and an open mind, and of course pray for you. God bless. :D

  2. Tell you the truth, Chrissy, you probably aren't more skeptical than I was. I haven't been able to write the follow-up because I think I need to tell the whole story of what happened to make me finally face what I didn't want to know: that it was real. Crap. Saying "I'm psychic" is like saying, "Hi! I'm a total nutcase, please disrespect me!"

    I believe your comment has convinced me that I do need to tell the whole story. But things other people say aren't convincing. And they shouldn't be. This is something everyone has to find out for themselves.

    God bless you abundantly.

  3. I absolutely believe in psychics... There are some very real ones out there and then again there are some 'real doozies' Some who may well be, but if they don't have anything coming through instead of saying so try to 'fill in' with vagaries....

    A few things that have been said to me, she could not have known.. This lady didn't even know my name.. Yet she was correct about future events.. Pity I didn't listen to one of her predictions.. It was September 2007 and she said watch out May next year or you could end up loosing money rather than gaining.. What she didn't know is I was heavily invested in the stock market.. and didn't listen.. A few days before the crash I woke up with 'Crash & burn going through my head... All bloody day..I refused to tap in and acknowlege this gift I was being given... I again ignored it... And well guess what...I did.. saw all my retirement dreams fall away..

  4. I think the prediction as you report it is too vague for you to think you should have made major changes in your retirement plan. If the psychic had also given you a great deal of specific information, even if unrelated to money, and then said this, it might have a warranted consideration of action. As is, I don't think you can hold yourself responsible at all. I'm sorry for your financial loss.

  5. Your statement that God called you to the type of prayer life that turnedall this psychic ability on concerns me.

    Centering and contemplative prayer are not the same thing as St Theresa said contemplation is a GIFT given to humble people with devout prayer lives.

    I believe centering prayer is very similar to eatern meditations and may call forth the same spirits,namely the kundalini,which is a dark feminine power. With th arousal of this serpent it is said psychic abilities are given.

    If I were you I would go to a priest and see what he says.You may have opened yourself up to the spirit realm inadvertently.

  6. I'd like to see the Saint Theresa quote if you find it, along with the reference. The thing is, contemplation from the perspective of the pray-er is something Underhill characterized as "naked intent yearning for God." God gives His gifts where He wills, even to such undeserving folks as me.

    Centering prayer is a technique. Not one I use, but certainly not one to object to, IMO. "Kundalini" is a word expressing a system of thought by which humans try to explain the way things work. The same phenomenon is described by mystics worldwide across time, they just use different words.

    None of the definitions are about "dark" power. The ancients, including the Hebrews in the Scriptures, often saw the world as a balance of feminine and masculine elements. In the French language, everything has a gender, from chairs to trees to factories. So defining kundalini as a feminine force, is just a way of saying it is creative. One of the best descriptions of a kundalini experience I ever read was from a woman who was praying a Rosary and asked for healing. Which she got in a huge miracle.

    I am definitely "open to the spirit realm." Jesus lives in that realm, as does Saint Theresa and my parents.

    That which brings us peace and joy in Christ, comes from the Light. We use the word "God" to refer to that Light. We also use the word "Love."

  7. Contemplation is a gift from God and it took St Teresa of Avila 31 years to achieve it! Praying the rosary is a good prayer life,but i seriously doubt it would give someone a kundalini awakening.The meditations can make me cry though especially the sorrowful mysteries in imagining Mary at the foot of the cross,and all the pain Jesus endured for us.That is the beginning of contemplation and what St Teresa advised the nuns to focus on,The passion

  8. Anonymous:

    It just occurred to me you may only be following this by this post. I put my response to this last comment of yours in a new post. See main blog and respond there, if you wish.

  9. If you have not already,I suggest you find a spiritual director(preferably a priest) ASAP.

    Have a wonderful Easter and may God bless you always.


  10. I've had to delete ANOTHER comment here. I will say again: if you want to refer to something someone is supposed to have said where the source is easily obtainable, like Saint Theresa's entire works being online and easily cited, you have to cite specifically what she said and where so others can look it up.

    My blog is not a debate forum. It's just a place to share.