A blog is such a personal thing, sometimes I forget people actually read it.
This morning I received a lovely email from someone who said they were writing
because I get the feeling that you may feel lonely sometimes,considering the fact that few lay Catholics and parish priests are familiar with mystical and/or metaphysical experiences.My first reaction was that I am not "lonely" so much as frustrated and angry. But I wonder if some amount of isolation in daily life does play into this? Thing is, if you talk about it with just anyone, they either think you're kinda nuts (which I would never deny) or they get an odd kind of "spiritual jealousy." OR - (Can you use "or" for three things?) they start to attribute all kinds of personal holiness to you that you do not merit. Well, y'all might, but obviously I don't.
I have a big sign on my wall that says "TRUST." It's big to remind me, this is the thing I most fail at. Whining is just a lack of trust in God's Love, and a desire to control outcomes, to think I know better than He how things should work to my benefit in my life. And the three personal pronouns in that last sentence illustrate how often I forget that God is the Great Multitasker. Things are always to my benefit that He does, and also, ALWAYS to the benefit of many.
The contemplative, pretty much by definition, waits for God. And in that waiting does something intensely active, no matter how much it looks like nothing at all.
Now I must go get busy and wait. Thanks, my email coorespondent (and all who have commented and written here.)